he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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