you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
