David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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