what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
