Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
