WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
