its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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