Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
