What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
