Need sex. Gaining weight.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
