We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
