its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
