I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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