Swine flu. Run for my life!
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
