I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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