your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
