I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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