Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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