elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
