my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
