Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
