some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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