Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
