I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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