Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
