she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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