That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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