I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
