Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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