walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
