I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
