Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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