People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
