Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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