I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
