my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
