The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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