so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
