You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You pole danced in your parka.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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