Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
