She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
