I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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