I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
