I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
