When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize