I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize