I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
