i don't like sucking hair
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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