I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
where are my eyebrows?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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