Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
40s are totally the cure
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
