Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
