My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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