I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
