i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
