make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
