i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
