Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
