It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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