Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
