I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
