After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
