Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
