So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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