I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
