is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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