Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
